Chapter 24. Vote

When last we left Edward and Bella they were engaged in a familiar argument about Bella's future. 'To be or not to be a vampire' Normally Bella loses this argument fairly quickly but this time Bella found a way to use her largely useless skill of endangering her own life to an advantage. During their recent Volturi encounter, the Italian vamps had promised to rain down hell if Bella weren't 'turned' when they next met, Bella argues that staying human endangers not only her life but the lives of the rest of the Cullen clan and thus the whole family should have a say in whether or not she gets to vamp out, not just Edward.

Clever Bella. That's some pretty sound logic from a girl who mere pages ago was hallucinating old lovers. A pretty snappy come back from a mental break down wouldn't you say? But seriously, she makes a good point, the Cullen's do deserve a say in this little debate. Bella's faith that the Cullen's will be on her side of the argument is a little surprising. After all, Bella has been nothing but trouble for the vampires since she showed up in Forks. None of the Cullen's had to worry about endangered lives before she came along, if I were a member of the Cullen clan I wouldn't vote vampire or human, I'd vote for Bella's head on a stick.

Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Edward reluctantly agrees to sneak Bella away to see the Cullen's and put her mortality to a vote, of course when they actually get to the house he says

"I'm just humoring you with this. It doesn't matter in the slightest what they say."

Typical, controlling, 'thinks he knows whats best', 'won't let you make your own decisions', Edward. I'm starting to miss Jacob already.

Obviously the family votes to vamp Bella. Edward and Rosalie's 'Nay's' are outnumbered by 'Yeas' from Alice, Jasper, Emmet, Esme and Carlisie. It was a stupid vote. Giving up humanity isn't so bad, what does Bella have to lose? cheeseburgers? Let's look at the upsides of vampirism a la the Meyerverse, we get: immortality, eternal youth, speed, super strength, not to mention the money she'll save never having to buy body glitter again. And in the con column we have what? Sleep? Overrated. The sun? Nope. Food? She'll still get to chow down on some tasty mountain lion from time to time...some venison perhaps....sounds like a good deal to me. Regardless, the vote swings in Bella's favor and Carlisle agrees to bite her. In response to this, and in a totally unnecessary rage, Edward's stalks out of the room and starts breaking stuff like a spoiled child then returns and starts screaming 'NO!' in Bella's face. Who knew Edward was such a poor loser?

After he stops yelling Edward tries a more reasonable approach to stalling the inevitable and reminds Bella that Charlie probably wouldn't take her sudden disappearance very well. That gem of logic puts Edward back in the game and brings the Bella vs. Edward scoreboard to 1, 1.

It's decided that Bella's vampification will be put off until after graduation when she has moved out of Charlies house, which gives Edward time to come up with more long term stall tactics. Time he obviously doesn't need because before the chapters over he's already figured out how to best Bella in the argument for her humanity. Edward offers a trade, he agrees to vamp Bella himself if she will marry him. In a shocking twist...well it's about as shocking a twist as Stephanie Meyer is capable of maneuvering...Bella says 'no' to Edward's proposal and around the globe millions of preteen girls gasp in horror then cry out in chorus 'Marry me!'

One of the best parts of this chapter is a small section where Bella admits to Edward that he is much scarier than the Volturi because while the worst the Volturi can do is kill her, Edward can leave her. This confession hurts Edward of course and Bella regrets the admission for causing him pain. Personally, I wouldn't feel even a twinge of regret. Awwwww, is poor broody Edward feeling bad for breaking Bella's heart, leaving her all alone to suffer, almost die and torture and tease poor Jacob with false promises of a future together? Well, GOOD! That's what you get for leaving. Edward should suffer a little. Don't get me wrong, I'm overjoyed to have Edward back, but don't you think he deserves a little taste of what he put the rest of us through? Edwardless for almost an entire book! A little retribution isn't undeserved. I think Bella simply telling Edward the truth, that she's more afraid of losing him again than of death, is letting him off easy. Just wait until Jacob gets a chance at him in Eclipse, that's a little more just punishment.

Oh yes, Bella also tells Edward about her hallucinations. I probably would have kept that little tidbit to myself but it triggers Bella's epiphany which is *drumroll* 'Edward loves her' I know, it's pretty poor as far as epiphanies go but then Bella generally is a little on the slow side.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

TBA

Chapter 22 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Bella has an epiphany realizing that Edward loves her
• Bella asks the Cullen's to vote on her mortality
• Bella wins the vote for vampirism 5 to 2
• Edward breaks stuff
• Carlisle agrees to bite Bella after graduation
• Edward offers to do Bella in himself if she'll marry him
• Bella says no (and shocks and outrages teenage girls everywhere)
• Charlie is not on Team Edward
  
• Bella tells Charlie to ease up on Edward or she'll move out

99 Reasons I Can’t Wait for New Moon!

My blog might not always be active but my Twilight fanaticism is always alive and well so I of course have been counting down to the release of the New Moon movie since....well since I knew the release date. To mark the day the countdown broke down into double digits I celebrated by making a list...always a fun activity. I had intended to post the list but clearly didn't, better late than never I guess....

I give you 99 reasons I can’t wait for the release of the next installment of the Twilight saga:

1. Edward!


2. I have nothing better to do with my time then read and re-read adolescent fiction. Movies offer a change of pace.


3. It’s a little piece of Twilight!


4. I want to see how badly they can butcher book 2.


5. Bella falling to pieces.


6. I love Twilight in all its forms.


7. Brief period of Edward and Bella couple time, which means cute Edward grins.


8. I’ve been counting down for 134 days already, that’s reason enough to want it over with.


9. As soon as New Moon is over the Eclipse gossip will start.


10. More sparkle!


11. Edward vs. Jacob.


12. Book 2 actually has some semblance of a plot.


13. It will give me something to blog about.


14. Once I can see it (5 times or so) I’ll be able to sleep again…until the Eclipse trailer is released.


15. Jacob gets a hair cut.


16. If I didn’t care, I’d feel silly sporting my Team Edward key chain.


17. Vampires are sexy. Even sparkly ones with waifish torsos.


18. I always wanted to be adopted into a family of beautiful, friendly and very rich vampires.


19. I'm looking forward to wolfy Jacob.


20. I’m looking forward to the wolf pack.


21. It’s going to be better than the first movie.


22. I steal party planning ideas from Alice.


23. We get to meet the Volturi.


24. I might actually cry when Edward leaves.


25. I miss Buffy!
    
    
26. Mass hysteria fascinates me.
    
    
27. Who doesn't love romantic expletive?
    
    
28. I always look forward to opportunities to act a little crazy and I believe the New Moon premiere will be one of those opportunities whether I want it to be or not....Twilight just brings out the crazy in me.
    
    
29. I think watching Jacob and Bella fall in love will be more entertaining than watching Bella and Edward fall in love (e.g. getting motion sickness as cameras spiral around Bella and Edward as they silently stare at each other).
    
    
30. Alice!
    
    
31. Jasper!
    
    
32. Charlie!
    
    
33. Emmett!
    
    
34. Cramming in a crowded theater with hundreds of adolescent girls to watch a movie you won’t be able to hear over the squealing for the heartthrob who is barely more than an adolescent himself sounds like an awesome way to spend a Friday night! Truly.
    
    
35. I wish I had something as pretty as Edward to look at everyday.
    
    
36. I can’t make any more videos out of the Twilight clips, I need new material.
    
    
37. Muscle (albeit age inappropriate muscle).
    
    
38. It’s good to have things you can’t wait for.
    
    
39. The title uses pretty font.
    
    
40. Bella has hysterics.
    
    
41. I’ve been neglecting my blog, I’m delinquent on the countdown, I’m a bad Twilight fan, I need the chance to redeem myself.
    
    
42. No one does brooding pain and suffering like Pattinson does brooding pain and suffering.
    
    
43. I think it will be fun to watch the wave of teen hormones shift and turn Team Jacob into an army that flattens Pattinson like the girly man he is.
    
    
44. New Moon is the only book that brings out the Jacob love in me.
    
    
45. The soundtrack promises radio head (not that I wasn’t all about Muse).
    
    
46. Twilight is like Christmas, chocolate and snow flakes in movie form.
    
    
47. It’s Bella’s birthday.
    
    
48. It will spawn new parodies, I love parodies.
    
    
49. I relate to Bella’s clumsiness, although my life is rarely endangered and I’ve never been rescued by a vampire or a werewolf to my knowledge.
    
    
50. They hired actual actors for film 2.
    
    
51. I’m curious to see if imaginary Edward makes Bella look as crazy as she sounds in the books.
    
    
52. I like books that have as little basis in reality as possible, movies are just as good.
    
    
53. It brings us one movie closer to Eclipse.
    
    
54. Improved special effects (furry transformations).
    
    
55. I have $100 bucks down that Weitz will use a montage to pass time in the zombie Bella months and I could use the money.
    
    
56. My life needs more drama.
    
    
57. The release is very close to my birthday and New Moon premiere night is the best birthday celebration idea I’ve had since I dragged everyone I knew to the rerelease of the Little Mermaid in '97.
    
    
58. Popcorn and junior mints my friends, popcorn and junior mints.
    
    
59. Love triangles are irresistible to me, Angel/Buffy/Spike, Jack/Kate/Sawyer, Big/Carrie/Aiden, King Arthur/Guenevere/Sir Lancelot, Bill/Sookie/Eric, Cyclops/Phoenix/Wolverine, Edward/Bella/Jacob.
    
    
60. It will probably be more fun than watching True Blood re-runs…or will it?
    
    
61. Making fun of my fanaticism takes James mind of everyday stresses…in fact, my fanaticism takes my mind of everyday stresses.
    
    
62. I have faith that it will be good.
    
    
63. I need an excuse to break out my Twilight paraphernalia.
    
    
64. It just looks awesome.
    
    
65. Italy.
    
    
66. It’s Jacob’s time to shine.
    
    
67. Everyone loves sequels right?
    
    
68. I want to see if Robert Pattinsons head actually got bigger.
    
    
69. Quality Alice and Bella time.
    
    
70. Taylor Lautner’s Abs.
    
    
71. I’m curious to find out what happened on all the Edwardless pages I skipped in the book.
    
    
72. It will be good to fuel the Twilight obsession again.
    
    
73. Girls night out, always something to look forward to.
    
    
74. I want to see if Kristen Stewart can actually play Bella with less emotion.
    
    
75. Improved movie budget means improved movie make-up...I hope...
    
    
76. I’m a 14 year old girl at heart.
    
    
77. We get to meet Embry, and how cute is Embry?…well, not that cute actually, at least not as adorable as I had pictured him, but still...
    
    
78. It will give me an excuse to purchase more Twilight trinkets.
    
    
79. Even the weakest link (book 2) is enjoyable in the Twilight saga.
    
    
80. Jacob is cute as a button.
    
    
81. More Twilight is never a bad thing.
    
    
82. I think werewolves are cuddly.
    
    
83. I miss adolescent angst.
    
    
84. There’s less than 100 days left!
    
    
85. Jasper almost eats Bella. Who wouldn’t want to see that?
    
    
86. Seeing screaming fans.
    
    
87. Being a screaming fan.
    
    
88. Cliff diving.
    
    
89. It will be the highlight of 2009.
    
    
90. I'm a sucker for actors with perfect hair.
    
    
91. I’m curious to see if Taylor’s performance is enough to make me switch teams.
    
    
92. Because I’m dying to give Stephanie Meyers more of my money.
    
    
93. I'm a sucker for tragic love.
    
    
94. Edward tortured face.
    
    
95. Bella almost dies….a lot
    
    
96. Unlike some directors I shall not name, I believe Weitz is above using a whammy bar to announce the presence of evil.
    
    
97. I want to see how much dialogue Chris Weitz can shoot without using the word ‘monkey’ I’m betting all of it.
    
    
98. The sooner we power through all four movies, the sooner I can get back to more productive things than writing lists...however enjoyable an activity that might be.
    
    
99. I have no shame.
    
    

Chapter 23: The Truth

I realize I'm jumping in at the middle of the chapter here but when Edward asks if it's too late, if he's hurt Bella too much for her to love him again my heart absolutely drops. I can be overly critical of Meyers writing, the excessive repetition, the lack of plot, action, etc. But to give her some credit, however she accomplishes it, these books can still make my heart swell and break. For most of New Moon I've been missing the emotion that Twilight brought out in me, but this chapter was thick with the familiar maudlin tone of the first book...and then again, some parts of the chapter irritated me to the point that I wanted to yell at the pages in front of me.

But as I said, I've skipped the beginning so lets pull it back a bit. As the chapter opens Bella wakes with Edward in her bed which would be a good place to start a chapter except that we are forced to suffer through pages of Bella thinking she's crazy, or dead or dreaming. This is frustrating for a couple reasons: one, because the readers know it's not a dream so it lacks the potential of a clever reveal, two, because Meyers drags it on and on and on, we get it. Bella's so happy that Edward is back she can barely let herself believe it's true. Stephanie, really, you could have gotten that across in a sentence like "Was I dreaming? Dead? I was so happy to feel his arms around me again I was afraid to let myself believe it was real" there, done. But no, the debate rages for pages, dies down as Bella accepts the reality she is presented with, and then picks back up again before she finally lets it go. At least Bella admits she's being ridiculous.

"Edward was really, truly here with me, and I was wasting time being an idiot."

Yes, yes you were. I have to admit though, despite the fact that having to wade through pages of characters arguing about what is and isn't reality makes me grit my teeth, I am ecstatic to have Bella and Edward back together. All is right in the world again. How quickly I forget my affection for Jacob, two chapters of Edward and I'm as useless to resist as Bella. Sorry Jake, your sweet and all but how can you not be affected by a man who says things like "I can't live in a world where you don't exist." and means it enough to skip the country to attempt a demo.


The entire chapter is spent with Edward and Bella in Bella's bedroom talking. I know, it sounds dull but it's good stuff people, it's relationships, it's dialogue, it's romantic expletive! I love that Bella's strategy for trying to keep Edward with her and avoid the re-break up she sees as inevitable is to just keep talking.


The chapter ends with the lovey dovey conversation dissolving back into the same argument the two had failed to resolve before they separated. The question of whether or not Bella should remain human.

Other things I loved this chapter: That Charlie banned Edward from the house and that Edward and Bella got enough chat time to remind me that literary Edward is much funnier than Robert Pattinson Edward. Hear that 'Pattz?' Edward is serious, but funny. Lighten up.

I can't even describe how much pleasure it brings me that Edward refers to Jacob as 'the boy' The seed of jealousy sprouted already? I can't decide if it's a pet name meant to intentionally slight Jacob or if he thinks that way of everyone so young. Either way it makes me smile without fail. It must be the anticipation of getting to start Eclipse soon.

I mentioned as I opened this post, this chapter was full of the overwrought emotion and romantic declaration I've missed so very much in Edward's absence. As a result I'm left with too many favorite quotes this chapter to count, so here is my edited list....

Favorite Quotes and Conversation

"Bella. I can't live in a world where you don't exist."

'This was very good, as far as delusions went. The fact, the voice, the scent everything - it was so much better than drowning."

"His irises were pitch-black, with bruise-like shadows under them. This surprised me; my hallucinatory Edwards were usually better fed.

"...I can't imagine what you could have done to wind up in hell. Did you commit many murders while I was away?"

"...when I heard that you have to put your life in the hands of werewolves, immature, volatile..."

"I feel sick, sick to my core, even now, when I can see you and feel you safe in my arms. I am the most miserable excuse for-"

"Edward," I said. His name burned my throat a little on the way out. I could feel the ghost of the hole, waiting to rip itself wide again as soon as he dissappeared."

"my will crumbled into dust the second our lips met"

and my favorite of my favorites.....

"When I told you that I didn't want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy."

Chapter 23 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Bella sleeps
• Bella dreams
• Bella wakes up with Edward in her bed
  
• There is a lot of talking
• Everyone is making moon eyes at each other
• Bella and Edward argue about immortality
  

Rumours are such fun.

Chapter 22: Flight

Edward, Bella and Alice seem to have escaped the Volturi's office/batcave/castle without incident...well almost. As Bella and the Cullen siblings walk away from the Volturi free and clear, they pass a group of tourists who are about to inherit the bad luck our heroes managed to avoid. No, sadly we don't witness the carnage, we just get a vague reference to screaming as the unsuspecting tourists are eaten. Once again I'm disappointed that Meyers can't favour us with at least a little vampire action (not the sexual kind, the bloody, violent, remind us why it's a better idea to fear them than date them, kind). I was recently introduced to a reimagining of Pride and Prejudice (thank you Lisa) called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in which Seth Grahame-Smith expands Jane Austen's classic romance to include 'bone-crunching zombie mayhem'. I know, you're thinking 'what could be more awesome?' or 'what an incredible genius this Seth Grahame-Smith is!' or possibly 'what does Pride and Prejudice and Zombies have to do with this unbearably dull chapter of New Moon? This post is getting off topic'.
Quite right, but the reason I mention it is, I was thinking, wouldn't it be great if someone took Meyers brilliant saga and amped up the action? Something to give the Twilight books at least a PG 13 rating. Nothing as drastic as adding zombies but just a little more scare here and there to make us buy the threat. Does anyone ever really believe Edward is going to suddenly turn on Bella and eat her? Or that Aro and company prove a real danger? Do we even know what a vampire attack looks like? Meyers has never really shown us how scary vampires can be? Ok so Jasper got a little out of control, but mostly we've only really met vampires who are sweet as fluffy white kittens. Maybe they bite gentle? I know it's dangerous to mess with a story so near perfection but just think, instead of 'hearing screaming' we could have 'blood drenching or decapitation' now that's scary, but it's a pipe dream and maybe something better saved for True Blood, back to what is...

The Volturi have asked that Bella and the Cullens wait in the reception area until dark before taking their leave. It still kills me that the secret Italian vampire society, centuries old, has a reception area. Oh and not just a reception area but a receptionist as well. The non-vampire Gianna, who no one seems to be very fond of, though I can't say why. Bella's distaste is the most shocking, all up on her high horse, judging Gianna just because she hangs with vampires, look to your right sunshine.Personally, I think Gianna is a gem, she's very good at her job, pleasant, attentive, you'd think an interspecies couple like E and B would be a little more open minded. Then again, Bella's mind is a little shaky after the whole screaming tourists getting eaten in a nearby room thing. In fact Bella is in total hysterics over the stress of the whole ordeal. She's all tear stained and making funny noises. Honestly, not the best strategy to make Edward want to stick around. Fortunately for Bella this chapter puts Edward right where Bella wants him. Trapped in a plane where he can't run away, which Bella figures he's likely to do as soon as he gets chance. If I were in Bella's position I would have capitalized on the set number of hours in a confined space with no chance of escape as a perfect opportunity to grill Edward on, oh I don't know, trivial stuff like his leaving me and his suicide attempt but Bella pretty much just sits and thinks, typical.

This is one of those chapters I hate to write about because virtually nothing happens. It's pretty much equivalent to the hotel room chapter in the first book. The action consists of copious amounts of sitting around on a plane without so much as a snake to add to the excitement.

A couple of quick things I did want to note this chapter despite the serious lack of goings on.

• The perfect illustration of Bella's oddness: Alice goes to fetch Bella's bags before they all leave Europe for home and Bella thinks to herself..."I'd forgotten that I had access to a toothbrush. It brightened my outlook considerably." Seriously. Italy, surviving a near death by vampire, being reunited with the love of your life, these are things that should brighten an outlook in Bella's situation, not a toothbrush.
• The term blood singer. Ew.
• And finally, my favorite moment of the chapter was a Charlie moment."I can't believe you have the nerve to show your face here." Charlie bellowed at Edward. I love Charlie.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her."

"To have my eyes so filled with tears that I could not see his features clearly was wasteful - insanity."

Edward to Charlie "Be mad at me" Charlie to Edwrad "You bet I will!"

Chapter 22 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Edward, Bella and Alice chill in the Volturi reception area
• Bella has hysterics
• Everyone is rude to helpful human Volturi receptionist
• Edward, Bella and Alice fly home
• There is a Cullen family welcome home party at airport
• Rosalie apologizes for causing Edward to try and kill himself
• Bella says its cool
• Charlie does the overprotective dad thing
• Bella deprives herself of sleep for the entire chapter
  

Chapter 21: Verdict

The title of this chapter is so ominous! You're practically forced to hum a low, dum dum dahhh in your head when you read it.

So Edward, Alice and Bella, with their cloaked escorts, continue through the sewers to Volturi headquarters which is an odd mix of office chic, super extravagance and old moldy stone. It’s almost as if Meyer couldn’t decide if it would be more entertaining to surround the vampire royalty in a Wolfram and Hart law office setting, a traditional crypt or Draculaesq extravagance so she went with all three. Way to commit.

We meet a whole host of vampires in this short chapter but the most entertaining by far is Aro. Aro is one third of the Volturi leadership trio, the others being Caius (which I can't pronounce for the life of me so I refer to as Cassius in my head) and Marcus. Aro is my personal fav of the three. While Caius and Marcus appear somewhat detached (or cranky at the very least), Aro is exuberant, he also seems a tad effeminate, what with the frequent exclamation s of ‘wonderful!’ (seriously count how many times he says wonderful) ‘dear ones’ and ‘be a dears’ not to mention the spontaneous hand clapping. I picture him as a cross between a thirteen year old at a sleep over and Standford Blatch.

Effeminate exuberance is not a description one typically associates with danger and evil. Not to worry, Meyers has outfitted her super bad Italian vamps with ‘special abilities’ that will have your knees knocking! Wait, no, those aren’t very scary either, in fact Aro and Marcus’ super powers seem pretty useless compared to the Cullens skill set. Marcus for example sees relationships, although what possible utility that would be I can’t imagine, and Aro can read every thought you’ve ever had by touching you, neat but again not overly useful, it's pretty much on par with a little brother who sneaks into your room and reads your diary, …all in all, they don’t make very convincing bad guys. Meyers did give the trio oniony looking skin, that’s kind of creepy right? I’m sure Meyers thought so. Considering her regular vampires sparkle like they’ve been bathing in fairy dust, in her mind translucent skin is probably equivalent to rotting maggoty flesh.

Ok, so the not scary points been made, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t a good time, and their lackey’s (Jane in particular, who can cause someone incredible pain just by thinking in their direction) are powerful enough to keep our heroes in their company. One of the more entertaining parts of the chapter is when Aro, intrigued by the fact that Edward can’t hear Bella’s thoughts, tries to read her himself. When he finds her immune to his mind reading tricks he asks Jane to try wammying Bella, which of course makes Edward furious although not that furious because he just stands there growling for a good while before lunging at little Jane. Usually rage causes more immediate lunging but I suppose it wouldn’t have mattered either way, he ends up on the floor in agony so the growling and the lunging were equally ineffective. Turns out for once Bella didn’t actually need rescuing (a first I think). The little Volturi’s pain inducing stare doesn’t work on Bella.

There is a lot of talking in this chapter, really a lot, which is not what you might expect from what should be the books climax, but that’s Meyers for you. For a writer of vampire fiction, she’s not a big fan of bloodshed and horror (e.g. terrifying = onion skinned vampire who can tell if you 'like' someone or if you 'like like' someone). Then again, I myself have often argued passionately that Twilight (referencing the saga as a whole) is first and foremost a romance, albeit a tame, PG13 romance. On the upside, all the dialogue in Chapter 21 leaves Bella precious little time for her usual lengthy inner monologues and contemplations of Edward’s beauty. I know I said I missed all the flowery expletive, but for some reason the last chapter left me with a little blood lust (picked up on that huh?). After all, Meyers put a decent amount of effort into dramatic build up for the Volturi confrontation, I mean if you think back, New Moon starts with Bella running across the Volterra square surrounded by enemies ready to face certain death, fast forward a little and you get the ominous warnings about not messing with the Volturi, then last chapter you finally meet some and they are clad in scary black cloaks, an obvious wardrobe choice for evil. So in the end, the lack of bad assness displayed by these allegedly bad ass vampires is a little disappointing. I can't help it, I expected more Meyers, I expected more. Oh, in case the suspense is killing you, the verdict was essentially 'we're satisfied you'll eventually turn the human into a vampire but we'll check in just in case but for now run along

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

“And Alice and Bella, too!” he rejoiced, clapping his thin hands together.” This is a happy surprise! Wonderful! - Aro

“Ah, how I miss my friend Carlisle! You remind me of him-only he was not so angry.” - Aro That line always makes me laugh for some reason and I have high hopes it won’t be left out of the film adaptation.

Chapter 21 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Turns out Alice, Edward and Bella weren't being led to thier doom, just a reception area
• The Volturi henchmen bring Alice, Edward and Bella to the Volturi leaders, Aro, Marcus and Cauis
• Aro talks alot
• Aro talks some more
• Most of this chapter is Aro talking
• Aro tries to read Bella's mind but it doesn't work
• Aro tells Jane to use her super pain inducing powers on Bella, that doesn't work either
• The Volturi decide Bella knows too much and must die or be turned
• Alice lets Aro read her and he sees one of Alices visions where Bella is a vampire
• Aparently everyone is cool with that but the Volturi promise to check in soon to make sure Bella is vamped

Chapter 20: Volterra

I apologize for my long absence! There is no excuse, I know. I guess I needed more than two days away, but I'm back! So where were we? Ah yes...

Volterra is in sight! (Actual Tuscan town if you were wondering, although probably not actually run by a secret society of vampires). Alice and Bella are racing, really slowly despite their sporty yellow ride, to stop Edward from committing Volturi assisted suicide. Since there is a festival going on in the town, the streets are packed making progression by car difficult, as Bella notes..."We slowed to a crawl behind a little tan Peugeot." Wait a second...Bella has difficultly identifying a BMW but Parisian cars she's cool with? Curious.

With only five minutes left until Edward's flaming noon day grand finale Alice and Bella are stopped at the gate to the city. Alice dazzles (and bribes) a guard into letting them pass and with only minutes to spare Bella hurry's on foot across the crowded square until she sees him.

Edward (insert chorus of celebratory yeays! here)!

As soon as Edward is in Bella's line of sight, her thoughts immediately jump from 'we're all going to die' to 'sexy hotness' , you know I'm beginning to think Bella might be a little shallow. And then to really burn the Jacob fans we get this...

"I'd never seen anything more beautiful—even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived."

...except for less than 24 hours ago when you also wanted Jacob.

Originally I considered myself strictly a fan of the Bella/Edward relationship. I was 100% Team Edward, a Bella/Edward shipper, whatever...but through the course of re-reading New Moon I've been forced to admit to myself that the degree of defensiveness that has been present throughout the New Moon posts on Jacob's behalf can't be meaningless. I thought my behavior was born out of hatred for Bella's character rather than affection for Jacob's, but even when Bella is doing no more than pointing out Edward's incredible perfection (which is not really her being harsh to Jacob, it's just fact) I feel a pang of hurt for forks fav resident wolf. Apparently I'm as fickle as she is. Damn all my self righteous ranting.

But let's get back to Edward, we've been Edwardless a long time and there's only two books left so lets not waste any more postage.

I've been waiting for Edward's return with baited breath since he left, but when Bella saw him across the square, I didn't get the sense of satisfaction I was expecting. Even when Bella finally got close enough to touch him, speak with him, I didn't feel that all was right with the world. We didn't get a 'remember when Rosalie said I was dead? Well, funny story...' moment from Bella, we didn't get relief that Bella was alive from Edward, or feigned anger that Bella tracked him down or elation at seeing her again, we didn't even get an impassioned embrace, the whole thing was kind of lame. The reunion was wasted on Bella trying to convince Edward he wasn't dead and in some sort of purgatory/heaven combo. I wanted rising music, I wanted fireworks, I wanted a kiss that induces faintness, suddenly appearing birds, chorus of angels something more than what was, and from the person who gave us 'you are my life now' and 'so the lion fell in love with the lamb' I don't think that a little more amped up emotion is an unreasonable request.

S.M. may have forgotten how maudlin her Edward/Bella moments usually are, but she jumped right in where she left off in terms of praise for his physical perfection. In case you didn't get the not so subtle references, Edward's beauty is so incredible it's almost incapacitating S.M. has Bella totally forget that her Edward hallucinations were auditory as soon as Edward is in her line of sight.

So all this reunion stuff is well and good but I suppose I should mention that this chapter also offers our first up close and personal introduction to the Volturi...we meet the show of muscle Demetri and Felix and the real muscle, little Jane.

I enjoyed, the casual conversation between Edward and Alice about the 'Bella's dead' misunderstanding' as the Volturi led them presumably to their death.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

"Edward!" I screamed, knowing it was useless. The crowd was too loud, and my voice
was breathless with exertion. But I couldn't stop screaming.

I knew I was too late. I wasn't halfway across. I wasn't going to make it. I was stupid and slow and human, and we were all going to die because of it.

It was very strange, for I knew we were both in mortal danger. Still, in that instant, I felt
well. Whole. I could feel my heart racing in my chest, the blood pulsing hot and fast
through my veins again. My lungs filled deep with the sweet scent that came off his skin.
It was like there had never been any hole in my chest. I was perfect—not healed, but as if
there had been no wound in the first place.

"In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days." - Alice

Chapter 20 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Times running out and Edward is about to off himself
  
• The Porsche rescue is slowing them down so Bella runs after Edward on foot
• Bella sees Edward across the square and yep, he's still pretty
  
• Bella reaches Edward and has to convince him he's not already dead, silly fool
• Bella, Alice and Edward all have a pleasant chat with Volturi henchmen in capes
  
• The Volturi lead our heros on a free sewer tour and then to their doom! *dum dum dah*