Radio Silence

I'm sleep deprived, overloaded with work, surrounded by cranky people and my computer is sick. I'm tapped out. I'm taking a two day mental holiday, so no posts for February 5th or 6th.

**My two day holiday turned out to be slightly more extended but at the end of this term I will return. Posts will resume May 01, 2009**

Chapter 19: Hate

Very little happens this chapter. Bella and Alice spend most of the chapter on the plane to Italy. The only real entertainment comes from Alice...sort of, well Edward actually but via 'Alicevision'. Through Alice we get to hear about the various plans Edward is considering to make the Volturi cranky enough to 'off' him. The Volturi would kill him for any action that revealed him for what he is and risked their secret.

Edward Suicide Idea #1
Killing spree in the city, mayhem! Mayhem! Mayhem!

Since there isn't much to chat about this chapter, I'd like to take this opportunity to make a general observation about New Moon. In the first book (Twilight), the story bumped along fairly uneventfully until S.M. produced the threat of the three nomad vampires out of thin air. with no reasoning or warning whatsoever. S.M. managed to tie the story elements of the second book together much more neatly. In the last chapter (Chapter 18 of New Moon) the threat was revealed (Edward's suicide attempt) ...but this time S.M. put a little effort into getting us there.

Edward Suicide Idea #2
Lift a car over his head in a display of inhuman strength

...to get to this point S.M. had to...have Edward tell Bella how he would use the Volturi to kill himself if he were forced to live without her; Have Jasper almost eat Bella so Edward would leave for her own good; which created in Bella an unhealthy need to chase hallucinations of Edwards voice through participation in extreme sports; which resulted in her contacting Jacob Black about fixing motorcycles; who fell in love with her and turned into a werewolf (not in that order) so that he was invisible to Alice when he saved Bella from almost drowning, the day that Harry Clearwater died, after she jumped off a cliff (unrelated events, Harry's death and the cliff jump) which Alice did see (the jumping part) and assuming Bella was dead went to Forks to check it out but not before telling Rosalie what she saw; who then told Edward who called Bella's, only to have the phone answered by Jacob who loved Bella and was a werewolf so hated the vampire and wouldn't give Bella the phone; which resulted in Jacob answering Edward's question which was 'Where is Charlie?' to which Jacob replied "At the funeral" because Charlie was at the funeral, Harry Clearwater's funeral, only Edward wrongly assumed Jacob had meant 'Bella's funeral' which was news that made Edward want to kill himself; which Alice, who happened to be visiting Forks because of the whole cliff jumping incident foresaw and now has to try and prevent with the help of Bella, by flying to Italy to save Edward from the Volturi and himself. Fun Times.

Edward Suicide Idea #3
Walk out into the sunshine and sparkle and shine
(or hope to be mauled to death by adolescent Twilight fans)

Actually, Chapter 19 isn't that much fun. As I mentioned the only entertaining bit is Alice keeping tabs on Edwards exit strategies. The one he seems to have settled on by the end of the chapter is simple. He plans to walk out into the sun, at 12 noon for maximum effect and because they needed some reason for him to wait long enough for Bella and Alice to reach him.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

"I doubt they've ever had a situation quite like this," she muttered, disgusted. "You don't get a lot of suicidal vampires."

She eyed me speculatively. "How strongly are you opposed to grand theft auto?"

"Try not to trip," she added. "We don't have time for a concussion today."

Chapter 19 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Edward tries to think up creative ways of committing vampire suicide
• Bella and Alice race from Forks to Italy to save him from the Volturi and himself
  

Chapter 18: The Funeral

So Alice is still at Bella's but she skips out when Jacob shows up at Bella's front door to avoid a confrontation. Jacob and Bella fight a bit, he's still hurt that she tossed him like last weeks garbage at the mere prospect that one of her precious vampires had come back.

Personally I think his behavior is somewhat justified but Bella is hurt that he's acting nasty anyway. She cries, Jacob apologizes for hurting her..., again and before you know it, he's got her face in his hands, they're gazing deeply into each others eyes and they are about to lock lips. The first time I read this I was so infuriated that Bella was about to kiss Jacob (you may recall from previous posts that I have issue with the way Bella encourages Jacob's un-reciprocated feelings), that I sped through the section to see what was going to happen without actually reading what was written. The second time through I actually processed some of what was going through Bella's head in the seconds between, her realizing what Jacob was about to do, and deciding whether or not she was ok with it. Although I've never been supportive of Bella leading Jacob on, as soon as she started honestly considering Jacob, and the possibility of letting Edward go, I started to feel bad for her. Maybe I've been a little harsh. She's been devastated by lost love, a love that in her mind has no equal. Who wouldn't be hesitant to jump into a relationship that has no hope of being more than a shadow of what she had known? But at the same time, having suffered such a blow, isn't she entitled to some comfort? Shouldn't she be able to hold on to any ounce of happiness she can find? And now, if she thinks she found something she could live with (which is the quality of romance Bella figures the rest of the world is working with) why shouldn't she at least try to enjoy herself to whatever extent that is possible? Why not try building a relationship with someone new? Maybe it will work, maybe it won't. Whew, I usually have to struggle to wrap my head around Bella's motivations. Despite being in her head and having them spelled out on the page in front of me, for the most part trying to figure her out leaves me equally irritated and confounded. That is as close as I come to 'getting' her and I feel it's only appropriate that I formally apologize for my harsh words regarding her treatment of Jacob. She, maybe, sort of, might, not have been as cold hearted and evil as I made her out to be. Sorry 'bout that.

And all that was stirred up by a kiss that never happened! I was so absorbed with my own ramblings there for a second I forgot that Bella and Jacob were interrupted at the moment of truth. Just as Jacob is about to go in for the kiss, the phone rings...and this my friends, is where things start to get really good :) It seems to me, at this point in her writing, S.M. realized that she should probably insert some sort of action before the end of New Moon, so her fans wouldn't revolt when given a book where Edward is absent and nothing happens. So back to the phone call...

"Swan residence," Jacob said, his husky voice low and intense. Someone answered, and Jacob altered in an instant. He straightened up, and his hand dropped from my face. His eyes went flat, his face blank. I recovered myself and held out my hand for the phone. Jacob ignored me. "He's not here," Jacob said, and the words were menacing. There was some very short reply, a request for more information it seemed, because he added unwillingly, "He's at the funeral." Then Jacob hung up the phone. "Filthy bloodsucker," he muttered under his breath. "Who did you just hang up on?" I gasped, infuriated. "In my house, and on my phone?"

It was Edward *gasp* Although we don't find that out until Alice shows up having had a vision of Edward committing suicide. Turns out Rosalie had told Edward about Alice's vision of Bella jumping off the cliff. Edward called to find out if Bella was o.k. and when he asked if he could speak to Charlie, Jacob answered 'he's at the funeral'. Jacob meant Harry Clearwater's funeral, Edward assumed he meant Bella's funeral. The chapter ends with Jacob begging Bella to go as Bella and Alice run off to Italy to rescue Edward.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

Bella on kissing Jacob: Maybe it would be easy - like holding his hand or having his arms around me. Maybe it would feel nice. Maybe it wouldn't feel like betrayal. Besides, who was I betraying anyway? Just myself.

Jacob's furious voice was suddenly in my ear, hissing out a stream of profanities. I felt a vague disapproval. His new friends were clearly a bad influence.

Alice to Jacob: "Yes. You're right, dog." Alice was snarling, too. "The Volturi are the very essence of our kind—they're the reason your hair stands on end when you smell me. They are the substance of your nightmares, the dread behind your instincts. I'm not unaware of that."

Alice on stopping Edward from killing himself "So if they agree to grant his favor, we're too late. If they say no, and he comes up with a plan to offend them quickly enough, we're too late. If he gives into his more theatrical tendencies… we might have time."

Chapter 18 sum up in 10 points or less

• Jacob shows up at Bella's
• Jacob and Bella fight
• Jacob and Bella almost kiss
• The almost kiss is interrupted by a phone call
• It's Edward on the phone
  
• Jacob thinks it's Carlisle and tells him Charlie is at the funeral
• Jacob meant Harry's funeral, Edward thought he meant Bella's funeral
  
• Alice tells Bella Edward thinks she's dead and he's going to kill himself

New Moon Chapter 17: Visitor

Super quick, single breath catch up....Jacob was bringing Bella home he smelled vampire Bella saw Carlisle's car Jacob bailed Bella ran inside the house to see who it was and there standing in the Swan's front hall was.....(drum roll) Alice! YEAY! It's Alice! The return of a Cullen, any Cullen is an incredibly satisfying event. I feel like I've been holding my breath for the last 8 chapters. As I read the first three lines of chapter 17 an enormous smile spread across my face and I expect it will remain anchored there for at least the next 30 or 40 pages.

I was surprised that Bella guessed why Alice had returned to Forks before I did. Maybe the euphoria was impacting my ability to think clearly. Alice had a vision of Bella falling of the cliff and when she didn't see her surface, Alice hopped the first flight to Forks. Were I in Bella's place, I don't think I could have avoided directing some undeserved hostility her way over Edward's harsh and abrupt departure, but Bella is elated to see Alice and says nothing. I suppose I was equally thrilled at Alice's return but Edward didn't leave me. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation between the two girls (or girl and vampire as it were), as Bella explained what she was doing jumping off a cliff and told Alice about Jacob and the pack. I loved Alice's reaction to hearing about what Jacob had become.

She turned to stare at me with a shocked expression. "You're best friend is a werewolf?"

Once Alice had ascertained that Bella was fine, she seemed to regret coming in the first place. When Alice made a move to leave, Bella just about lost it. The hysterics, the hyperventilation, the futile grasping. Normally I am disapproving of Bella's desperate streak, but I myself felt a flash of panic at the thought of Alice disappearing again. After hundreds of pages, I was not ready to endure any more of S.M.'s writing Cullenless.

As much as I enjoyed the casual catch up chit chat, I was dying to find out what Edward had been up to and was sitting at the edge of my chair when Bella finally got around to bringing him up, but Bella is about as tough as a...well..., a very soft thing, and she could barely handle getting a single question out before her internal defenses kicked in and she went into emotional lock down. Pathetic! Not to mention frustrating.

My favorite part of the chapter was Bella eavesdropping on Charlie and Alice as they talked about how Bella dealt with Edward leaving her. Alice didn't seem all that surprised over Bella's poor coping skills. In fact throughout the chapter she repeated 'I told him so' frequently, I assume in reference to telling Edward that Bella would not be able to deal with Edward leaving her. Getting to see Bella cope (or not cope as it were) with the 'break up' (that doesn't seem like the right term, 'situation' or 'tragedy' seems more appropriate) through Charlie's eyes made it more...sad. Bella is a much more attractive person when you aren't in her head, any time I see her through other characters eyes she seems so much more sympathetic.


Other things I loved this chapter: Every word of it...oh, you were expecting something more specific?

• Alice's mere presence. The Cullen's get all the good lines, the 'Favorite Quotes and Conversation' section of my posts have suffered ever since the Cullens went MIA.
  
  
• Jacob's curt call to make sure Bella was alive after he left her alone to see which of her ex-'vampire family' had stopped in for a visit.
  
  
• Bella being all touchy feely with Alice, not giving a second thought to Alice's hunger, after being away from the company of people who wanted to eat her for so long.
  
  
• Charlie's protective fatherly anger toward Edward over the pain he had caused Bella and;
  
  
• Charlie giving Alice a Jacob sales pitch to pass on to Edward as a warning that Bella had moved on, or was headed in the direction of moving on (however untrue that might be).

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

I'd forgotten how hard she was; it was like running headlong into a wall of cement.

She rolled her eyes. "He was a fool to think you could survive alone. I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy."

"Leave it to you, Bella. Anyone else would be better off when the vampires left town. But you have to start hanging out with the first monsters you can find."

Charlie on Bella coping with Edward leaving "I don't know… even with Jacob, now and then I see something in her eyes, and I wonder if I've ever grasped how much pain she's really in It's not normal, Alice, and it… it frightens me. Not normal at all. Not like someone… left her, but like someone died." His voice cracked.

I stared at her, putting it together. "You can't see werewolves?" She grimaced. "So it would seem." She was obviously annoyed by this fact—very annoyed.

Chapter 17 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Alice saw Bella jump off the cliff in a vision and thought she was dead
• Bella is, despite her best efforts, still not dead
• Alice came to Forks to help Charlie (still thinking Bella was dead)
• Vampires think werewolves smell bad and vice versa
• Alice's visions don't work on the wolves (or those around them)

Swan Song

My computer is threatening suicide. I'm seconds away from hysterics here people. It's not like I didn't see it coming. There are certain parts of my keyboard that are held together with scotch tape. For the last few days I've had to hit the 'e' key at least three times before it registers on the screen (yes, that's 72 superfluous keystrokes just for the last 5 sentences) but If it goes, I can't be far behind. I won't make it. I can't survive restrained by the shackles of cables scheduling! I can't live so cut off from the world, with virtually no means of communication! The thought of it is too much.

New Moon Chapter 16: Paris

So last chapter Bella jumped off a cliff and almost drowned, this chapter opens with Jacob pulling her out of the water. Bella finds out that while she was cliff diving alone, Harry Clearwater (good friend of the Black's and Bella's dad, Charlie) had suffered a heart attack. A short while later, Bella learns that Harry died at the hospital.

Harry's death doesn't seem to bother Bella all that much but it does put the whole 'endangering her life just to hallucinate about Edward' thing into perspective. Finally, she realizes that trying to generate hallucinations of the person who left you an emotional black hole is not a healthy way of dealing with loss. Bella has decided she needs to get over Edward, her health and sanity depend on it, what she can't decide is if the best way to do this is to give being with Jacob Black a try. Bella spends the rest of the chapter trying to convince herself it would be a good thing to use Jacob as a rebound, Jacob would get what he wants and by making Jacob happy Bella might be less unhappy. The 'to Jacob or not to Jacob' internal debate goes on for awhile. 'Should I? Shouldn't I? Edward would want me to be happy but Juliet would never settle for second best.' Oh yes, I didn't mention that, Bella sees herself as Juliet, priceless. Instead of using your basic pro con list as a tool to decide if gettin' it on with Jacob is a good decision, Bella places Jacob in Paris's role (which in and of itself is saying Jacob is second best and she is not in love with him) and Edward in the role of Romeo and she mentally fanfics a variety of scenarios out in her head. Bella tries to guess how Juliet would act were she in Bella's place (not that Juliet is a great model for healthy relationships either). For example, in one of Bella's mental wanderings, she asks herself what would have happened if Paris had been given a personality and were Juliet's best friend and Romeo had lost interest in Juliet, what would the tragic heroine have done? Surely her story wouldn't have been as tragic.

I wondered what she would have done if Romeo had left her, not because he was banished, but because he lost interest? What if instead of marrying Juliet, he's just disappeared? ...I wondered if she would have married Paris in the end...

Of course tragedy could have also been avoided in Romeo and Juliet if any one of the the characters in the play weren't so prone to overreaction or had any degree of coping skills.

But back to Bella. Bella still doesn't have romantic feelings toward Jacob, she's just trying to figure out what the right thing to do is. If you ask me, if you have to put that much thought into whether or not you should be dating someone, they are not the right someone for you. Bella's decisions are rarely the ones I would make, so as expected she had pretty much talked herself into giving the whole 'Jacob the boyfriend' thing a whirl when her over analysis of the situation is interrupted. Jacob was in the process of driving Bella home when he caught wiff of a vampire's scent (Brace yourselves now) As Jacob starts to speed Bella away to safety, Bella notices a car on the street in front of her house, it's Carlisle Cullen's car (you may take a celebratory moment if you wish before I go on), Bella pitches a fit so Jacob will turn around and let her out. As soon as she's outside, Jacob leaves with his panties all in a bunch that Bella is excited to see evidence of the Cullens back in Forks (Sorry Jacob, I think we're all excited about that). The chapter ends with Bella entering her house trying desperately not to think about who the car might have brought with it.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation:

'Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris' would haev never been a hit.

Jacob to Bella "Bye, Bella," He called back over his shoulder. "I really hope you don't die."

It was just Carlisle I told myself. Don't expect anything more. Maybe Esme...Stop right there, I told myself. Just Carlisle. That was plenty. More than I'd ever hoped to have again.

Chapter 16 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Jacob saved Bella from drowning
• Harry Clearwater dies of a heart attack
• Bella almost has herself convinced she should give Jacob a shot
• Bella sees Carlisle Cullens car parked on the street outside her house
• Jacob runs off leaving Bella alone to meet a vampire that may be friend or foe (dum dum dum....)
  

New Moon Chapter 15: Pressure

It's Spring break again in Forks! Which is funny because, just like last spring break, Bella is again being hunted by a vampire. A fact she points out herself, although I don't think she found it as amusing as I did, especially since her vampire boyfriend isn't around to protect her this year. Bella isn't totally protectionless though, she has a bunch of werewolves watching her back this time around, (new year, new monster) so really there isn't all that much to complain about. Still, I'd take Edward's 24 hour personal body guard service to hanging out at Billy's any day. It's not that I don't like the pack, I do. The wolves seem tighter, more expressive and more loving than the cold, composed and vampiric Cullens, still werewolves just aren't as fun to read about. Does anyone else miss extravagantly romantic declarations of love and devotion? Or is it just me?

Lack of romanticism aside, chapter 15 left me in such a blissful mood I almost got through the entire thing without thinking about Bella's mistreatment of Jacob at all, but I am what I am. In an effort to maintain my very good mood, I won't rant about my brief flashes of anger. I'll just insert this tiny quote and you can judge for yourself what shade of black Bella's heart is.

When we walked along the beach now, he always held my hand (because he loves you). This made me brood over what Jared had said, about Jacob involving his "girlfriend (which means little since you won't do anything about it) I supposed that was exactly what it looked like from the outside (and very likely one half of the inside). As long as Jake and I knew how it really was (he doesn't, he's in denial), I shouldn't let those kinds of assumptions bother me. And maybe they wouldn't, if I hadn't known that Jacob would have loved for things to be what they appeared. But his hand felt nice as it warmed mine, and I didn't protest (because I only care about myself and my own happiness and I'm a terrible, terrible person).

I can't tell you why the Bella Jacob dynamic (mostly the Bella leading Jacob on part of it) hits such a chord with me, but Bella's short exchange with Mike does an adequate job of summing up my issue with the whole thing.

Mike's eyes narrowed shrewdly, "Don't kid yourself, Bella. The guy's head over heels for you." "I know, " I sighed. "Life is complicated." "And girls are cruel," Mike said under his breath.

Ok, that's good for today, on to happier themes, like psychosis. Bella hasn't chased her Edward hallucination in a while but she's back at it again this chapter, just in case anyone was getting too comfortable with the idea of her and Jacob together. Yes, she still misses Edward, no she doesn't love Jacob he's just a band-aid to use and disregard...oops! I'm doing it again, sorry. Anyway, to get a little imaginary Edward time, Bella decides to jump off a cliff (into the ocean). Her initial intention was to survive the jump. Once she broke the surface of the water with Edwards voice swimming around in her head and the current dragging her under, she sort of gave up. That was the one other thing that irked me about Bella this chapter (totally un-Jacob related you'll notice). She was so willing to die when the water at the bottom of the cliff started pulling her down. What was that all about? So, hanging out in LaPush all day while your werewolf friends risk their lives trying to kill a vampire that's hunting you is not the funnest thing ever. So, the love of your life left you. So, you have a naturally negative and pessimistic disposition, get over it.


You may be wondering how exactly this chapter left me blissful when I found so much to complain about. Let me take this opportunity to explain it to you. This is an excellent chapter for many reasons. For one, it's chapter 15, which means, there are less than 10 chapters left before the end of New Moon, we're so close to Eclipse I can almost taste it, I'm giddy with excitement over it. Chapter 15 also contains pivotal events that start a spiral of almost tragedy without which, Eclipse might not exist. Plus, Bella almost dies...true, near death isn't a novel experience for her but I enjoy it thoroughly each and every time it happens.

Favorite Quotes and Conversation :

I couldn't imagine how the russet wolf would fit inside the Rabbit...

Bella thinking about cliff diving "a date with Jacob, a date with Edward...I laughed darkly to myself. (evil)

The hole had been festering lately, like it was getting revenge for the times that Jacob's presence had tamed it. The edges burned.

Chapter 15 sum up in 10 points or less:

• Bella leads Jacob on some more
• Bella remembers that she misses Edward
• Bella jumps off a cliff
• She doesn't die